Dating during a pandemic

Is it an adventure or a nightmare?

Friends and relationshipsCurrent issues
By VoiceBox ·

3xP (not her real name)

3xP is a European young-adult with an interest in literature, and all sorts of creative activities. Her education is making her more aware of the people around her and the social problems they may be experiencing

The challenges of dating during a pandemic

Dating during a pandemic sounds like a whole adventure, doesn’t it? Honestly, just thinking about it gives me the chills. I personally did not try to date during the pandemic as I happened to be in a relationship during this horror called Covid-19, but many people I know did date, and it has been one hell of an experience for them.

Let me paint you a picture: Imagine a young woman, not in a relationship. She’s totally single and wants to date. What should she do? Bars are closed, gyms closed, clubs also closed. So what can she do now?! She is stuck at home and there is barely an opportunity to meet people she doesn’t already know. But of course! She should download one of those dating apps – Tinder, Bumble, Happn, Hinge, even Facebook is offering a dating software these days.

Based on talking to people that I know, I have noticed that, if you are a woman, the chances of getting likes is way higher than for a man. In my opinion, men have it way harder on dating apps (so do not be too hard on them, they are doing their best!). With that in mind, let’s return to my imaginary girl, who I think needs a name. Perhaps Lana?

While on the dating apps Lana quite likes some of the faces she sees, but she is nervous to engage in a conversation. Most of the people sound the same - “You are my dream girl.” (a bold claim to make within a few hours of messaging back and forth!). But then there are the boring ones as well, with whom she can barely have a conversation. While she hasn’t found her perfect match, this is only the first day on the app. She won’t delete it when it's only been a couple of hours. These strangers need a fair chance of getting to know her.

It’s three days later, and Lana’s struck up a conversation with a seemingly nice, good looking person. But the thing is, now there is a curfew in her country, so it is hard to stay out late without ending up in somebody else’s house. And how safe is it to spend the night on a first date? How can she go on a date complying with all the rules implemented by the government?

Now that everything is closed, there are fewer opportunities for a proper date. This adds an extra layer of complication for women. It can be particularly dangerous for us because, while in a pre-pandemic world we had the security of public places like bars, now we need to be way more careful who we go out with, as there are all sorts of people out there.

A sunny day after they started chatting, the guy asked how spontaneous she was. Not at all. Honestly, Lana chickened out. Maybe because it’s been a while? But she ghosted him.

 So maybe we women aren’t perfect as we might care to admit. Maybe sometimes we also do some things that should make us all blush. What I am trying to say is that there is another side of the coin. Although we women have it hard, men do not have it easy either. 

As a person, hanging out with guys often, sharing beers and their top secrets, I discovered that my friends are also having it quite tough. One of them told me “for every single woman on Tinder, there are 9 single men”. So, what is a single woman to do at this point? 

Luckily, at this point I do not have to figure this out because I get to curl up next to the person that I love and stay there until dawn. And I am aware that this may sound hypocritical after the scenario that I just played out because, although this may have been just a plot in my head for me, it is the reality for a whole lot of women and men out there. So, a little tip from me to whoever is reading this: No matter where you are standing, just first think about your well-being before jumping to any sort of adventures.

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