The Harsh Comedown
i can’t remember the first time
i ever visited the city
i only remember the feeling
i felt small
limpid
no one could see me
i was a hazy whirlwind of flesh and bone
no one could see me
and I liked it.
the invisible armour you wear
only lasts so long
isolation gets tedious
an ant must always follow their leader
an ant must always have his colony
follow their scent
follow your tribe
you might carelessly wander
into the belly of a spider
who promises sunshine after rain
epic (un)limited bliss with little to no price
only your life
the colony grows
with every bassline drop
and midnight riff
seclusion seems a distant dream
you might never be alone again
but you will wake up.
yes
you will wake up.
after you return from the spiders belly
when the colony is nowhere to be found
their scent faded
you will wake up.
when your face becomes ugly
the shadow of your former self
clings desperately
it’s claws gripping to your skin
begging
screaming
for you to not forget
they are not dead yet
when dusk turns to dark
and you’re left with
a catatonic dread
it seethes in your veins and it spikes your mouth
your blood turns to poison
your words to venom
the spider bites will itch
tearing and ripping
deeper
deeper
into your core
your home
you might waste away
to rotting flesh and shattered bone
a ghost
then you will wake up.
you will keep waking up
every new morning
when there's a chill on your breath
or when your childhood bird sings with the sunrise
you will keep waking up
a ghost
until you don’t.
you will wake up
and the sky kisses you
the yellow and pink welcome you like old friends
and dance together in the air
they’ve missed you
the real you
the morning chill in your breath
or the early greeting from your childhood bird
doesn’t bother you anymore
the returning isolation
can’t touch you
you have paid your price
the hidden price in the spider's web
with bliss comes delusion
with delusion comes ignorance
and ignorance will leave you
blind
but now you see
you are awake
wholly
and most fiercely
awake
never will you return
to the rank and decrepit hole
in which the spider makes its web
never will you return
to the colony that left you for dead
you will be you
you have grown back the rotting flesh
and mended the shattered bones
now dance with your beautiful friends
that glisten above you
alone
and you are happy
you just are
you be.
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