Hi,

It's been several months since our relationship ended and it was the most heartbreaking thing that has happened to me in my life. Our relationship was short if we look at it relative to our lifespans but I believe the impact of it will last throughout my lifetime and the lessons learned from it will also last me a lifetime.

I never expected to date you when we first met. We were just friends that didn't exactly have much in common, but it was a friendship that blossomed really quickly as we became so comfortable with each other. We shared so much of ourselves that lines started to be blurred, and we reached the point where it didn't feel like we were "just friends". I was hesitant to get into the relationship because I didn't feel like it was truly right, and part of me was really scared that if the relationship went wrong, there wouldn't be an "us" anymore and that I would be alone. But you convinced me, saying that you treat me right and that this could be the start of something beautiful, and I took that leap. Honestly, it's a leap that I will always regret because the thought of how we would probably still be happy as friends with each other now if I hadn't taken that leap still haunts me. We went from friends to lovers to strangers in such a short amount of time, thanks to my decisions. 

I gave a lot of my "firsts" to you and shared so much of myself with you that it feels weird knowing that there's essentially a stranger out there who knows so much about me. We had a lot of good times, but the bad ones will always overshadow my memories of you. For now, when I think of you, all I can think of is the pain and heartbreak that came from you leaving. You brought me up only to discard me. You made me feel like I was at the top of the world and that life was only going to be good from then on, only to drop me to the bottom of a pit. You brought about some of the highest and lowest points in my life and I don't know whether to be grateful or mad at you for it.

Ultimately, you taught me a lot about myself, about how I can be in a relationship, my insecurities, and what I would want in a partner. You gave me so many lessons that hurt, but I knew they were lessons I had to learn eventually and grow from. I know that, ultimately, the end of the relationship was my fault, and I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for it, but I hope that one day, I won't have thoughts of you anymore; that one day, I will be able to say that I've truly moved on. 

But for now, I will grieve what we were. I will think of you and cry over you and do all the things that I should be doing to heal from you. I will try to improve and love myself, which is something that I should have worked on earlier. I will accept the fact that our journey together is over and that we were never meant to be.