Memories are supposed to fade over time, but some particular ones stay with you. Whenever you recall those memories, it’s like you can actually feel the essence of that moment. I was a happy-go-lucky person as far as I can recall; I used to make people laugh by making fun of myself or doing silly things.  That is something that still hasn’t changed, but I remember being at a funeral once, and my mother made me talk to a relative who was in deep shock. The last thing I remember from that day is her smiling. I didn’t think much of that day when I was young, but now that I remember it, I see that part of my personality as a blessing that is fading over time.  

I have changed a lot in the past years; it feels like going through phases. It makes me wonder if my current situation is also a phase. Being in a room filled with people but still feeling that you are alone there, that’s solitude. Laughing, smiling, cracking jokes but still not being able to get out of that void, that space where you are stuck. The undying need to distance yourself from everyone else. Not that I don’t enjoy others' company, but at times I feel like I will drown everyone else with me if I were to stay. I think this feeling is related to how I used to be in the past: the feeling that I should be able to make people happy around me or I lose my purpose. 

This feeling of solitude is a phase that comes and goes, and I don’t believe there is a complete end to it because, at times, we all feel alone, worthless, useless. However, to me, the best part about this is when you are actually happy, you don’t take those moments for granted. You know how meaningful those little moments can be, and you try your best to live them as much as possible.  

My purpose of sharing this is not a call for help; instead, I want people to know that we are in this together and that those thoughts are just there momentarily. There’s no such thing as a worthless being.  We all here for a purpose, and eventually, we will realize it. 

I want to talk about this issue on bigger grounds. I want people to take mental health seriously. I want parents and teachers to know that not every child/student is the same or has the same mental capacity.  We are individual beings who require support and humble words every once in a while. Sometimes when we are at the brink of our mental threshold, we just need a little space to organize our thoughts and get back to our normal lives.