I didn't think to write about this topic until a conversation happened between a friend and me about the people in our lives who "got away". It was a topic that I never really paid much attention to because I don't truly believe in such a concept. My belief leans more towards if it was meant to be, it would be, and the ones that "got away" were just never meant for us. That being said, there were times in my life when I found myself wanting to be with someone whom I just knew I couldn't have, and this article is dedicated to my stories of them.

The earliest one I could remember was a boy in high school. He was sweet and cute, and teenage me crushed on him really badly. I remember that he would always come to my classroom before class started just to spend time with me, but me being the super shy and insecure girl I was, I never really dared to make a move. By the time I had the courage to try to do something about it, he had already moved on to another girl, and my opportunity was gone. It's a little bit disappointing, but I merely laugh at the thought of this story because it's just something so silly and typical of a teenager. 

The second story is one that hurts a little more. I was fortunate enough to be able to study abroad when I became a university student, and there I was, all alone in a foreign country. I did not know anyone, and it was the first time I was living away from my parents, so everything was very overwhelming, to say the least. Then, my "saviour" appeared. I met him on campus in a mahjong club, out of all things. I just happened to be walking past a room filled with students playing mahjong with Mandarin songs blasting on the projector when he popped out asking me if I wanted to join. 

Turns out, he was the president of the club. He became my first friend in university, and our friendship grew so quickly that it surprised me. Within a couple of weeks, it felt like I had already known him my entire life. He would also introduce me to his group of friends and help me grow my social circle. Weekdays were filled with us studying together, motivating each other to get through assignments and exams, while weekends were spent exploring what the city had to offer. Our relationship often teetered between friendship and something more, as both of us fought hard to never fall over the edge. If you're wondering why, it's because we both knew that there wouldn't be a long-term future for us. He was a local, and I was someone who would return to her home country once her degree was up, and I always knew that I was unlikely to move abroad permanently and leave my family behind. Leaving was a bittersweet memory because I truly felt like we were meant for each other and that we were just born in the wrong countries. But life goes on, we're still friends, and he has since found someone, and I am nothing but happy for them. 

The last story is my most recent and shameful one because it felt so wrong. I was never someone who would even like a man who was taken purely because the idea of cheating or being involved with someone who was with someone else went against my morals. But he was someone who brought colors into my life when everything seemed so dull after my heartbreak. We met through a pottery class. I had decided to go to one alone because I felt like I should've been indulging in my hobbies after my breakup. He was there alone as well, and we ended up talking and became fast friends. 

I knew that he had someone from the get-go and didn't think much about it, as I only saw him as a friend. But as we ended up spending more time with each other, I realized that my feelings for him were growing, and I felt so ashamed of myself for even harboring such feelings for a taken man. He was in a long-term relationship, and I knew that nothing romantic would ever happen between me and him, but I still found myself wanting something. I eventually realized that this was unhealthy for me and decided to distance myself. He did notice this and questioned me about it, but being the coward that I am, I merely used the excuse of work being busy, and the distance just grew until we eventually stopped talking with each other. 

I sometimes catch myself wondering about what could've been with all of these people that I couldn't have, but I stop myself as soon as possible because there's no point letting such things consume me. If you are ever in my situation, it's okay to grieve what could've been, but don't dwell on it. Ultimately, I do hope that I won't have any more stories like these because it would just mean more heartbreak in the future.