Even though we are now entering a new season, it does not mean the ghosts of the previous one stayed behind; they most likely followed. Although you cross over into a season and you are highly optimistic about how it may unfold, you may still have to deal with the trauma of your past and try to heal from it.

We often hear about the word “trauma”, but for those who often convince themselves that what they have experienced is not a ‘big deal’ here is what trauma actually means.

“Trauma is the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes their sense of self and their ability to feel a full range of emotions and experiences.”

Recently, I reached out to a friend to try and navigate why I was having random waves of feelings of resentment, anger and hurt. It's like being okay in one moment, then you think of one random event and begin to relive all the emotions you have felt again. Her response to me was that therapy was needed because we were both in the same boat.

Now, I did not even have to go and try and revise my budget/bank statement to know that I could not afford therapy. I have previously been able to access therapy, but it was always free. Not being able to afford therapy, however, did not mean that the random waves of negative emotions miraculously left me.

Also, just as a note: there is absolutely no shame in not being able to afford mental health services. A lot of us do not have aid and are trying to navigate things ourselves.

Also, in my country, South Africa, "it’s estimated that only one in four people suffering from a mental illness will receive some form of care. The barriers to access include long waiting times at clinics, a lack of trained mental health professionals, and the high cost of private support, not to mention the stigma of admitting that you aren’t coping.” -Sam Beckbessinger, The Daily Maverick.

So, do not feel like a failure; the system is to blame here.

Here are some ways I have been trying to help myself lately; some of them may work for you, too:
 

1. Assess what you are feeling.

Dr. Joan Cusack Handler recommends these steps:

• "Ask yourself: What feelings am I aware of having? (There are often many.)
• What is the most prominent? (Try to describe it to yourself. Also, don’t be afraid to push yourself past answers like "fine" or "okay." Continue by asking what "fine" means. We often resist even our own probing.)
• When did I become aware of this feeling?”

2. Write down your feelings in the most honest way possible, possibly keeping a journal. 

3. Read up and define the specific emotion.

4. Read articles by psychologists on how to go about healing.

5. Read blog posts by people with similar experiences.

6. Sign up for newsletters about self-help and healing.

7. Pick up a hobby (reading, exercising, etc)

8. Create a “feel good” playlist.

9. Affirm and believe in yourself more. There are apps that can give you daily affirmations to practice.

10. Not everyone is religious, but I find it personally helpful to pray at midnight and lay it all to God.

I think growing up the way I have has really equipped me with the skill to always find alternatives and a different way of doing things. I cannot say that this is 100% effective or that you will not ultimately need therapy, but if, for now, you cannot afford it, then try something new. It also feels better to actively do something about how you are feeling.