Throughout the years there has been an endless debate on if things like obesity are a choice. Can´t they just eat less? Can´t they just muster the will? If you truly want something, you would go for it, right? For a lot of complex issues like addiction and alcoholism, there´s an idea that it´s simply a matter of how much you "care". Grey´s Anatomy (2005- present) is a show that deals with complex human themes and often gives allegories the viewers in this field that viewers can resonate with. It happens to give a very encapsulating answer to how we think about obesity, which I think is the way we should look at these matters.
In a scene of season 6, Dr. Shepherd makes a critical comment about an obese patient not deserving treatment and not taking care of himself. The (former) Chief, aka Richard Webber, is a recovering alcoholic and responds with a thought-provoking observation - "Look at him. He is me. Just swap up the booze with food. You don’t think I care about myself? He has an illness that he cannot control. He needs help."
In this scene, Chief Weber exemplifies empathy in two significant ways. Firstly, he demonstrates that he does not see himself as superior to the patient. Despite not being obese, Weber acknowledges that both he and the patient share a compulsion towards something harmful—his being alcohol and the patient’s being food. Same problem, different means.
Secondly, Weber highlights that indulging in an addiction does not inherently mean a person doesn’t care about themselves. People often turn to addictive behaviors for reasons beyond their control, rarely with the intention of worsening their lives. While Weber is a respected, serious man who is perceived as taking care of himself, he admits to exhibiting similar behavior. The key difference is that his struggle with alcohol is less visible than the patient’s obesity. This scene serves as a powerful reminder of how we frequently judge others based on outward appearances without understanding the shared, underlying challenges that they, and we, might face.
This concept is crucial to remember in our daily lives. It’s easy to feel superior to those struggling with visible issues like drug addiction or obesity, but we must recognize that we all have the potential for problematic behaviors. For instance, if we find ourselves habitually scrolling through our phones for hours despite knowing we should be focusing on other tasks, we're experiencing a milder form of the same difficulty in controlling our actions. While not as severe, this demonstrates how we all can struggle with self-regulation in various ways.
If I can give a personal example from my own life, a while ago my heart was broken, and sometime later, I had coffee with a good friend. He asked me, “How are you dealing with it? What’s your way of coping?” I answered, “Well, I’ve recently created a video for my YouTube channel where I gave a valuable lesson on the topic of letting things go. That felt really good to me because I got to help others while helping myself.”
He responded, “That’s admirable. When my heart was broken, I started smoking to ease the feeling of insecurity.”
I said, “Dude, I’m also repeatedly looking into the mirror because I have the feeling of insecurity all the time. You and I are no different.”
At the end of the day, we share common biological and psychological foundations, but our individual circumstances and experiences lead us down different paths. By recognizing that various behavioral patterns - whether they involve struggles with food, alcohol, or even seemingly minor issues like excessive phone use — often come from similar underlying needs for comfort or distraction, we can approach these issues with more compassion and self-awareness.
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