History

The general idea is interesting- there are just some concerns we have with the composition of the piece. The flow and some of the wording could be made more clear to reflect back to your overall point. Also it would be nice to have it be a little bit more balanced as lots of people rely on the company of pets due to learning disabilities, trauma etc. We have turned it into a draft so you have an opportunity to work on it and resubmit :)

Like previously I received a feedback I have worked upon those. First I have made some changes by adding new points in the conclusion where I have added about how pets support in learning disability and one in the 2nd para in the beginning where I have written how pets support us in our emotional trauma as well. Like u asked me to make my point clear and how the essay looks chaotic and not balanced but I have tried to basically convey that how people these days give more importance to bonds with animals because of the neglect they faced during their human relationships which is evident through my examples which I used such as my aunt and my great grandmother. Hopefully you will consider this piece.