Lawn of Lonesome
It was somewhere when I hadn’t walked the street of spring
A time when my angels turned into a lonely spirit with no wings
So I skimmed and glided alone on an empty broken bridge
Thinking how I was unseen when I was visible like the crest of a mountain ridge
I too saw the lingered lamp-post cast it’s pale light on me
But the shadow made wasn’t mine, but some forlorn dead tree
Always I had known a mother who sang lullabies in the seventh heaven
A father to scare away my fears with his love’s weapon
I too had some millions of so-called bosom friends to crowd me
But as we caressed it’s just skin that touched, never was the heart free
For in my room, I just watched the windows or the crack in the ceiling
And sometimes hugged the cushion or clothes in the closet
as I whispered in the ears of stuffed animals and dolls, some secret
Cause I knew my family and friends just saw the glow of my flame
When the ashes wanted to be touched by their palm for it’s pain
I know I have always been a longing spiral staircase
All the feet have touched me, but was I ever counted just in case?
I lived and was hung like a vintage lamp in the core of a cottage
my light did reach all, but why was their glimmer of eyes always a haze?
Sometimes under auroras, I tried to sit in the heart of Cloverleaf
Waiting for some crossing car to stop, to see me as they see colours in the sky streak
Somehow I never wanted anyone to see my teardrops on a desk
Cause if they think I was lonely, then was their love just a wreck?
But then I sensed the darkest chills running down my spine
Cause hugging myself in the mirror wasn’t enough in that reign of time
So I hit every park and parking lot just to talk to strangers
And let my voice rasp as I waited for my mother to pick up the phone
Just to utter the broken words of how I just want to escape the lawn of lonesome
Fatefully, now that my lonely self has been frozen in my grip
I now hear not just mine but also the love of my loved ones' heartbeats.