My parents, teachers, friends and especially pop culture told me my whole life that my 20s are my 'golden years'. Sitcoms like Friends or How I Met Your Mother portrayed young people as wild, carefree and free-spirited. They had big friend groups, could afford great apartments, and found themselves in chaotic yet fascinating lives. But I find myself at a crossroads between childhood and adulthood. And I don't know what to do. One moment, I realised I had free will and the energy to do everything. The world is my oyster. There are endless possibilities and opportunities to explore. At another moment, I realised that this is the time I should spend laying a foundation for the rest of my life. And I fear I might be very behind. I am expected to know what I am doing with my life. Knowing what career choices might be smart, what friendships are worthy of continuing, and what eggs are organic is essential. I understand I am old enough to feel the responsibility of adulthood. But I am also too young to be prepared for it. This paradox is what I call the 'young blood, bad knees' (TM) phenomenon.

Too young to have figured out everything, too old to be clueless

One of the most significant societal expectations for a young person, especially if you're coming out of university or just stepping into your first 'big girl or big boy' job, is to have everything important figured out - relationships, finances and even your identity. Everything needs to be solid, and society pushes you more and more to be 'ambitious' and 'seeking' and 'on track' while simultaneously being able to 'make mistakes' and travel and enjoy your young self. I find this contradiction extremely hard to navigate. I am too young at work to be taken seriously, but I'm also too old to keep calling my mom at every minor inconvenience. I'm too young to offer advice, but there's a lot of slang on social media that I don't understand. I find myself existing in constant fear of not doing enough.

What is the reason behind this paradox?

I blame social media (for the most part). Social media pushes us more and more to compare ourselves to others. All my friends who are also in their 20s are on different paths: some are getting married to the love of their lives, some are training for a marathon, some are starting a job at their dream company, some are trying out small businesses, some are just drowning in student debt, and some are stuck in jobs that don't make them happy. But I still find myself unknowingly comparing myself to others. There's no universal timeline for significant milestones in life, but it feels like I'm always lagging. I scroll endlessly on social media, watching others hit milestones, and I don't know what I'm having for dinner. The constant exposure to other people’s curated highlights makes it feel like everyone else has their life together except you.

Another weird aspect of this paradox is the perception of age shifts. When I was younger, I always thought of people in their 20s who had their lives together. They looked like full-fledged adults. But now that I am here, I feel like the same person I was in university, except I pay bills now. And make life decisions. At the same time, I feel myself ageing. Hangovers hit harder. I want to go to bed early. I don't fully understand 'skibidi rizz' or listen to younger artists as much as I did a few years earlier. This weird middle-ground of ageing creates an identity crisis. You’re young enough to feel like you should still be figuring things out, but old enough to feel like you should have already done that.

The truth is, there is no right way to live your 20s, especially your early 20s. There's no successful template. The pressure to figure everything out is based on the flawed idea that life follows a set timeline. In reality, everyone moves at their own pace. Some people find their passion at 22, while others discover it at 35. Some people settle down early, while others thrive in uncertainty for years. Instead of feeling trapped between being too young and too old, maybe the real challenge is learning to exist in the in-between. Accept that it’s normal to feel lost, that not everything needs to be figured out right away, and that growing up isn’t about reaching a destination—it’s about navigating the journey.