I believe the best thing that happened to me since turning 15 was understanding that other women were not my enemies and that female friends are no more gossipy, dramatic, or annoying than men.

The problem with being a woman in the twenty-first century is that we're taught it's easier to hate each other rather than support one another. On the other hand, the advantage of being a woman today is that we don't buy into that nonsense anymore. The idea of tearing each other down, minimising our pains, and finding any reason to criticise one another is a relic from the 2000s, along with Paris Hilton* and low-rise jeans.

However, since no one is immune to their surroundings  I spent years believing I couldn't have female friends because it was "too much drama for me." I watched *Mean Girls* so many times that I swore groups of girls were like The Plastics: an unnecessary evil I wasn't willing to endure because the only drama I should deal with in life is my own. Fortunately, as in many other instances, I was wrong.

What saved me from a series of idealised and unfortunate friendships - not to mention toxic and often one-sided ones - was my innate talent for being utterly basic. I don't remember how I started to change, but I do remember when: the day I realised that friendships aren't as complicated as I thought. Of course, they always require effort, but as my grandmother says, "what's meant for you, is meant for you" - and things happen when both parties give their best.

Life feels lighter when we rid ourselves of that internal 'burn book' - because at some point, we've all been the judgemental one who slut-shamed the girl living her life freely, looked down on the woman who was cheated on, and called the girl we didn't like names. We start to understand that the women we've tried so hard to hate are the ones who can offer us the most love.

When I was 15, I never would have imagined that my favourite tattoo would be the wine glass I got with my friends, or that what I'd miss the most during lockdown would be cuddling up to watch horror films on their couch. I certainly never thought my friends would save my life - in a much more literal sense than I'd like to admit.

I've always believed that the people you surround yourself with say more about you than about them. That's why, as I grew up, I met friends who gradually became my home and filled a part of my heart.

Talking about my friends is talking about the day I realised my dream career wasn't really my dream, and I texted Samantha, "I give up," on WhatsApp. It's about the time I almost broke Laura's hand when I got my first tattoo, the Valentine's Day I spent with Dani at McDonald's, Valeria and her parents telling me, "this is your home," and the time Paula hugged me for an hour straight. For me, talking about my friends is talking about a language of love that I believe everyone should know.

Since realising that women are my friends and not my competition, I've come to see that if there's one thing I don't lack, it's the luck of having people who love me unconditionally, correct me when I'm wrong, remind me that imposter syndrome is an enemy I shouldn't listen to, and send me memes and TikToks that always make me smile.

From my friends, I learned to project the love I felt for them onto myself and started taking the best from each of them to continue growing. After all, that's what female friendships are about, building together (and not destroying, as we've been taught).

Because the truth is, it doesn't matter if I see them every day as I did with Tata in school, if we've never met in person like with Marce, if we talk every three weeks like with Cami, or if we see each other once a year, like with Caro: the love of my friends is the most real thing I've known and experienced in these 20 years.

When I was 15, I thought the love that would save my life was the love from Harry Styles I read and re-read about on Wattpad. Nowadays, I can confidently say that love manifests in many forms; and I was fortunate enough that in my life, love has several names.

My friends taught me that friendship among women isn't always toxic and that my favourite scene in television history - when Rachel arrives dressed as a bride to seek Monica's support - isn't as fictional as I once thought. My friends showed me that the most important love - besides self-love - is that of those who understand my pains, respect them, and live them as if they were their own.

Because in the end, friendship among women is the best gift life could have given us. At least that's what I understood when Mafe's mum hugged me and said, with teary eyes, "thank you for being friends with my daughter." The kind of friendship I rejected for years helped heal wounds I didn't know I had - and that I refused to acknowledge - and that's why today, I wish I could hug my 15-year-old self and tell her I understand her doubts, fears, and prejudices and that I am happy to say she was wrong.

It's about understanding that life is better when we have someone to lean on, someone to sing Danna Paola's songs with, like I always do with Sofi, or someone to send us orange hearts and say, "I've twisted my ankle!" like Andre does. It's about knowing that our friends are here to teach us to live - and go beyond just surviving - to cry, to get drunk, and to remember every day why we are here.

It seems it's true what they say: "The love of your life is your friends."