Within just a few days of joining my new boarding school, I figured out which people spelt trouble. I learned to distance myself from those whom I viewed as disrespectful and selfish bullies. While my perception of them was a little extreme, my assessment held some truth—as they themselves would go on to tell me in the future.

After a year or two of avoiding such people, my room assignment coincided with one of them, and our paths collided. Just as sad as I was back then at this turn of events, now I am just as thankful.

With a heavy heart, I stepped into that room, but I was pleasantly surprised when I realized that he had gone through a metamorphosis. He had changed from one of those vindictive and heartless bullies into one of the most genuine and kind friends I have ever had.

As I previously mentioned, my initial judgment had not strayed far from the truth. He had indeed been one of those typical bullies who took enjoyment in tormenting others. Now, not only had he changed, but he was also making amends by genuinely apologizing to his victims.

Through this, I realized that humans are far from stagnant; change is at the core of human existence, both biologically and psychologically. From the first breath to the last, we are constantly going through a process of change.

While all this might seem blatantly obvious, we often don’t realize these simple facts when we encounter a person who wrongs someone else. Our instinct is to freeze this perception of them in time, not giving them the right of redemption. Just as we outgrow our mistakes, others also undertake those same journeys, but we subconsciously remain oblivious to this fact.

A quote that helped me keep this thought in the front of my mind was: “You won't find the same person twice, not even in the same person.” This quote poetically reinforces the idea that we and everyone around us are constantly changing, and it has allowed me to notice and appreciate this change in others.

While you might think that the change in my friend and his subsequent apology does not absolve him of his previous actions, you might be surprised to know just how far a genuine apology really goes. All the other victims I had talked to had genuinely forgiven him because they valued his remorse.

I have found that to a certain extent, we are empathetically receptive to remorse. Despite being wronged, we have an innate ability to forgive someone if we sense genuine remorse and change. While we may not forget the wrongs done to us and might believe we could never forgive someone who has hurt us, we may be surprised to discover, when given the opportunity, an inherent tendency toward forgiveness.

That room, which I dreaded spending a year in, not only gave me a lifetime friendship but also opened my eyes to how powerful change, remorse, and forgiveness can be.