I’m a few days away from finishing the first term of my second year at university. It has been different than I expected…

I’ve always been ‘quiet’ and have struggled tremendously due to my autism, hating crowds or meeting new people, preferring to sit at home with a book than go to a party. But, for some reason, I thought that this would change at university.

When I pictured myself as a student, I imagined how I would go out every night, throwing myself in the deep end and enjoying spending time at the club. But - I didn’t. I got to uni and hated it. Everyone was going out every night during freshers and campus was packed - it all got too much. I ended up going home for freshers and returning only once lectures had begun. Even then, I think I still held some sort of expectation that it would just get better, and that I'd learn to love partying. I’m now looking back at a year and 10 weeks of university in which I haven’t been out drinking once. 

What I'm trying to say is that despite my lack of clubbing, I've enjoyed myself and I'm ok with not going out. The important thing is that I stayed true to myself, rather than forcing myself into a box that doesn’t fit me. And though I struggled with this, I have now learnt more about who I am - someone that does prefer alone time, or even pre-drinks at the flat, rather than a loud, crowded club. 

Once I had accepted this, it took me a while to figure out how to stay social when it seemed like the only way to do that was through going out. So, I’m going to list some ways you can do this. 

1. Societies 

Societies are clubs which any student can join. These range from Taylor Swift societies to religious societies. Definitely check out your university's list of societies. 

Societies host a range of events, with some including nights out (which could be a good way to go out but with a friendly support network). I've also noticed an increasing number of non-drinking events as fewer students drink alcohol. 

In my experience, societies are usually very welcoming and accept people no matter when they join. One of my big fears was going to an event a couple of weeks in, thinking everyone would know one another already, but it just wasn't true. 

2. Solo dates 

One of my favourite parts of university life is literally just finding a nice place to sit and either study or relax. Universities often have coffee shops so it is lovely to just buy a coffee and chill somewhere. You could even make this a bigger thing and turn it into a little solo date. This is also an amazing way of being sociable without having to socialise - sometimes I love to be around people, but without the pressure of actually talking to them. 

3.  Seminars 

I'm not the type of person to meet up with friends on a daily basis. However, I've really pushed myself to be more sociable in seminars, and I've made some wonderful friends from doing so. As someone who struggles socially, seminars are an amazing place to push yourself as you already have a topic to discuss, making it easier than having to think of something to talk about.  

If nothing else, I want you to remember one thing: don't feel pressured to conform to anyone's standards but your own. The most important thing in life is being you, wholly and unconditionally.